Gnome Chaos Theory

Chaos, or entropy, is a physical phenomenon caused by the absence of gnomes, a condition known as agnomie (pronounced a-gnome-ee). In gnome-based string theory, chaos or entropy is the result of the state called "no strings attached".

According to theory and recent data, the universe is expanding. Despite the implications of chaos theory and entropy, this universal expansion is being caused by all gnomes exhaling in unison. Furthermore, on the level of relatively localized (i.e., two-body) systems, gravity is the natural result of steady-state gnome respiration, such that the gnomes on one body inhale while facing toward and exhale while facing away from the gnomes on the second body, and conversely. By induction, this gravitation process generalizes completely consistently to the many-body case and thus accounts for the phenomenon we recognize as universal gravitation! 

- Larry S Solanch